Do you know those monkquips that appear on the top of every perlmonks page? Like „Perl sensitive sunglasses”.
I really like these quips, because they really give a feeling to what this monastery is like.
The quip on each page is chosen randomly from about a dozen quips. This set of quips has been virtually unchanged for years now, they all date back to the dawn of the monastery, yet they still seem relevant. I would, however, like a bit of more change, so I think it's time to add a few new quips.
I'd hereby like to ask you all to suggest new quips that you think are suitable to appear there. Also please state your opinion about quips others have suggested. The quips should be short and definitely not offensive to anyone.
The decision on what quips get shown is ultimately up to the gods of course, but I think they need your creativity for finding good ones.
To boot, let me give a few possibilities. These are not really good, so I hope you'll suggest much better ones.
Perl monk, perl wisdom.
Make it (1) work, (2) right, (3) fast.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Performance is overrated.
Security before utility.
Build with security in mind at the start, you can't add security later.
Read the fine manual.
Everybody stand back. I know regular expressions.
Elegant weapons for a more civilized age. (From xkcd://297.)
The language from which the gods wrought the universe. (From xkcd://224. See also Re^2: poll ideas quest 2010 - SciFi authors.)
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well… I have others.
(This quote is attributed to the comedian Groucho Marx but it applies to perl well.)
Training wheels with the bicycle. (This might be offensive to PHP programmers a bit, so it's not really good)
Yes, even you can use CPAN (Title of the famous tutorial Yes, even you can use CPAN)
Maybe we could use some quotes from sci-fi classics, but I read most of those in translation so I don't know any English quotes.
Update: just let me note that unlike these quips, there have been lots of new XP quips and silence quips added in the course of years (you see the former in the XP nodelet when your XP changes, and the latter in the chatterbox when nobody speaks).
Update: I'll add any more possible quips that come into my mind later below.
Don't reinvent the wheel.
Here be dragons. (The monkpics refer to particular monks and show particular animals, so I think this might be acceptable too. By the way, it would be nice to have new monkpics as well, in fact there was already one attempt to get new ones, but it didn't work.)
We make our new users chop carrots. (Reference to Life at the Monastery. Chapter 1. Actually it might be better to make something like this into an XP quip paired with the infromation that we put Level 26: Saint to dishwashing duty.) (Update 2009-11-29: dishwashing duty is now mentioned in a new XP quip)
Realm of paco.
Welcome to the monastery. (Simple and effective.)
For dynamic types.
Seeking pearls of wisdom.
Serving the community since 2000.
Some people, when confronted with a problem, think
“I know, I'll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems. (Big thanks to Corion for pointing me to this entry in Jeffrey Friedl's blog which gives the exact quote and researces its source.)
A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect (from the song How to address a cat in the Cats musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber)
Explain ideas to a teddy bear.
Make a minimal example that reproduces the bug. (The unspoken half is that most of the time this will already solve the problem.)
My opinions my change, but not the fact that I'm right. (one of moritz's favourite quotes)
Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it – Linus Torvalds (original source)
Debugging is twice as hard as writing a program. (from Brian Kernighan)
Don't try to code your way out of a problem, start again. (from Programmers Nostrums)
Update 2010-10-04: see also and all is quiet in the Chatterbox, but it doesn't have to be.
Update 2011-01-05: maybe some of Random thoughts on programming could be reused too? I like these in particular:
That which is not automated does not reliably happen.
Update 2011-04-05: the spoiler block below will contain a full list of all the proposed quotes (no matter where they come from), in case me or someone else wants to set up a multiple-choice poll on what to add.
- A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect
- After Perl everything else is just assembly language.
- Almost nothing in Perl serves a single purpose.
- Be critical
- Blessed are they that "use strict;",
- Blessed are they that write <code>
- Build with security in mind at the start, you can't add security later.
- But for some things, Perl just isn't the optimal choice. (yet)
- By Christmas
- "1 problem" =~ s/1/2/
- Clear questions and runnable code get the best and fastest advice.
- Conciousness is an intrinsic part of Perl.
- Conciousness is an intrinsic part of the universe.
- Debugging is twice as hard as writing a program.
- Does anyone know where Perl lives? Perlmonks!
- does not compile
- Do not club someone to death with a loaded Uzi.
- Do not hard-code arbitrary limits.
- Do not trust users.
- Don't ask to ask, just ask.
- Don't fear the collaborator.
- Don't forget you've probably already forgotten, how hard it was to learn what you now take for granted.
- Don't go west
- Don't make an ass out of you and me.
- Don't reinvent the same wheel more than once.
- Don't reinvent the wheel.
- Don't try to code your way out of a problem, start again.
- Do you know where your variables are?
- Each sub should do only one thing but do it well.
- Elegant weapons for a more civilized age.
- Everybody stand back. I know regular expressions.
- Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Expect the worst.
- Flip-Flops under the Cowl.
- For dynamic types.
- Golfing since '87.
- Got strict?
- Great software does not need to be innovative.
- Have fun!
- Here be dragons.
- Higher Order Perl
- I dream in Perl
- If I have to ask if something is possible on PerlMonks, I probably should rethink my design.
- in dubio pro regex
- In theory, theory and practice are the same.
- Is that Obfu, Poetry, or Golf?
- It's all magic.
- It's easier to port a shell than a shell script.
- Just Another Perl Community Website
- Klaatu barada nikto
- Learn something no one has learned before.
- Make a minimal example that reproduces the bug.
- Make it (1) work, (2) right, (3) fast.
- Modify a wheel in unexpected ways.
- Spew it!
- Most software projects fail.
- My opinions my change, but not the fact that I'm right.
- New users chop carrots
- Nothing but perl can parse Perl.
- Once you've found that you've reinvented the wheel, discard it and get a decent one off the shelf.
- Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it – Linus Torvalds
- Orthogonality is overrated
- Performance is overrated.
- Perl6 released today!
- Perl did not get where it is by ignoring psychological factors.
- Perl me up, Larry…
- Perl monk, perl wisdom.
- Perl … the Swiss-Army chainsaw.
- Plan ahead.
- Plan to throw the first one away.
- Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
- Programming is about keeping track of ideas.
- Quantum Superpositions
- Read the fine manual.
- Realm of paco.
- real-time altruism
- Regex ultima ratio
- Security before utility.
- Seeking pearls of wisdom.
- see pan-opticum
- Serving the community since 2000.
- Serving the community since 2000, with ketchup.
- Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I'll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems.
- That is a nice shiny wheel you just reinvented.
- That which is not automated does not reliably happen.
- The answers offered here are starting points—not endpoints—to solving your problems.
- The bug is probably in your code.
- The computer should be doing the hard work. That's what it's paid to do, after all.
- The difference between theory and practice, in theory, is less than the difference between theory and practice, in practice.
- The error is in line 42.
- The language from which the gods wrought the universe.
- The other Four Horsemen of the I/O-pocalypse being IN, OUT, FH, and HANDLE.
- The point of this place is not: to force newbies to go through the same pain you had to go through.
- There's more than one way to do things
- The stupid question is the question unasked.
- The world needs more than one type of wheel.
- This is my boomstick.
- Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well? I have others.
- Those who don't understand Perl are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
- Those who don't understand UNIX are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
- Thou shalt "use strict;"
- Training wheels with the bicycle.
- Ubique quo regex et gloria ducunt
- Upgrade your gray matter, cause one day it may matter.
- Users are evil.
- use strict is gay
- We don't bite newbies here.
- Welcome to the monastery.
- We make our new users chop carrots.
- What was rule #1 again?
- When all else fails, reboot.
- Where no Monk has gone before…
- Where RTFM meets TIMTOWTDI.
- Who has the pumpkin?
- Will your messages make sense if things do go wrong?
- Work at being lazy.
- Yes, even you can use CPAN
- You are in a maze of twisty passages, all different
- You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns?
Update 2011-11-07: some new quips, some of which are listed in this thread, were actually installed to the site in 2010.