I'm sorry to see things come to such a pass, deprecated, and I truly hope you choose to stay. As someone who has never (to my recollection) voted you down or had a confrontation with you, let me share my impressions.

I think you some across as being very ardent, and you have a tendency to make unqualified statements about contentious matters. Let me point out a recent instance:

"I just cannot get past the idea that there are people who think that it is ever okay to cut a methodological or ritual corner."

What sort of response did you suppose you'd get from such people? You're fighting a war against them! I, for one, think it's often not only okay to cut corners, but absolutely critical to do so. (If your company's database is puking, and they're losing twice your yearly salary each hour, you'd better just get the damned thing up). I can see your perspective; it's less what you said than how you said it.

I'd written out a few more examples, but I've deleted them because I really don't want this to seem like a get-down-on-dep session. In general, I think you need to be really cautious about posting with strong emotion, be it anger, frustration, conviction, or whatever. That's not to say you shouldn't express strong emotion... but understand that it doing so evokes strong responses in others. Done with caution, that can be a good thing... but without careful consideration, you're likely to encounter unintended effects.

In short, I don't think it's you, or what you choose to say. I think it's how you choose to express yourself.

And that's where I run into the puzzling assertion that you don't care about politics. The very post I am responding to is, beginning to end, about politics. I believe that you mean you don't like politics, as you stated in the chatterbox; let me make a recommendation. You should.

It is immediately apparent to you when people speak to you tactlessly, but you don't appear to put sufficient consideration into the way you say things to avoid ruffling other peoples' feathers. And it's interesting that you mention princepawn, because it's often been my impression that he had the same problem... though I think he's far more tactful now than in the past, and is much more a member of the community now as a result.

I occasionally hear someone complain that they shouldn't have to think so hard about phrasing something nicely; the fact is, they don't. But what such people tend to really mean is, they want the benefits anyway. It doesn't work like that. Politics is about achieving your goals when you don't have sufficient power to achieve them yourself. Either decide that you really don't care, and ignore the things which are now bothering you, or do what it takes to have your posts be well-accepted. Or, if you must, decide that people here are just too obnoxious to be worth politicking with, and cease to participate.

It is my perspective -- as, I suppose, a Good Ol' Boy -- that there are cultural norms here, and that they indeed will cause you trouble if you run afoul of them. I flatter myself to think that I've had some influence on them, though I did not dictate any of them. No one has. I think it can sometimes feel like there's a Cabal of longtime users running things, when it's really just the collective sentiment of the users being felt... or maybe I'm just not part of the real Cabal yet! ;-)

Dep, good luck. Your feeling is right: somebody dislikes you. Some people dislike me, too. Oh well. At least it's fair to say that since they only know us by what we say, people like or dislike us as a direct result of our own choices. Decide what you want, and choose accordingly.


In reply to Re: Why me? Why not Ovid? (discussion) by Petruchio
in thread Why me? Why not Ovid? (discussion) by deprecated

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