Ah. I can relate to this.
I can, too. To what you say. After being bogged down elsewhere and elsewith (not a story to tell here) I went into clinical custody somewhere and there incurred a difficult partnership, which facts I didn't deny applying or offering myself for the job at $company. "No problem, we have recurrent psychological review", yadda yadda, no such thing. As things turned the bad way in relationship, nobody looked, nobody cared (which I don't reproach) and, typical for someone affected by Toxoplasma gondii (which I also reported at hiring time), I was unable to raise hand and care for myself. So things went spiraling down, and there's really nobody to blame. Not the company, not me either. That's life.
As Gert Postel said (famous impostor, being just a postman he managed to get employed as senior physician and head of department of a psychiatric clinic)
As someone is, that way they act; and there's no freedom of will, that's all bullshit.
So, it's time to get to the will forming powers of the manifest will, which is hard to impossible to change. This is not only true for myself, but (as stated above) for all of us in this changing times.
Is it possible that I'm a conman, impostor, masquerader? Dunno. You judge.
Another restart, hopefully.