in reply to Crazy question about writing to a text file that is actually an executable...

I have a bunch of servers that run various proprietary software applications that are only capable of writing logfiles locally, and I don't have access to these remote systems.
If you don't have access to these remote systems, then how could any possible information exchange happen?
So you must have some kind of remote access to these systems otherwise the question doesn't appear to make sense.
Can you provide some more details?