Is it okay that I just think it's kind of a silly poll? It might not be sillier than your average Internet poll, but I tend to hope for more than I'm going to get. The available answers are ridiculous, offensive, and / or insufficient for gauging the skill range of PerlMonks members. Unfortunately, a silly poll has also produced a silly thread. There's pedantry, name-calling, and throwing out vile expressions in some slippery slope comparison to offensive poll choices.
I've probably spent a thousand hours focused on learning Perl or Perl libraries, and then there are a few thousand more with learning by painful experience on the job. I'm not worried about getting maximum return from Perl on my investment. That investment has already served me rather well. My only concern is that I still wish I was a better Perl programmer.
Anyways, I'm depressed now and need to go for a brief walk. Then I'm going to get back to work and try to remember: Never Read The Comments.