It would be insane to try and code like that.
No it wouldn't. I strongly suggest you look at Erudil's
camel code and
how it works
to find some creative ways to use eval.
You code is very nice looking, it's shame it doesn't run.
You have enough room on the first edge of the cube
to stick in something like s/\s+//g;eval that would
transform the rest of the code into something that actually
compiles.
Naturally it's not that easy, because you have to define
$_ (which will be after, since it's the rest of
the cube). I am sure you can find a way to keep your code
cube-shaped and make it run.