Perl Monks say the Darndest Things

[zdog]

I want to compile a list of the greatest PerlMonks quotes. And I was wondering if some monks would like to nominate some quotes and give some suggestions? I was thinking that they could show some kind of humor or show some kind of Perl insight.

I haven't given this a lot of thought yet, but here are a couple off the top of my head:

"My preferred t-shirt size is ... Extra medium." - merlyn

"crazyinsomniac fed chromatic a blueberry scone" - crazyinsomniac apparantly

Zenon Zabinski | zdog | [e-mail]

[ybiC]

But my all-time favorite Perl Monk quotes aren't even from the Monastery.

I mentioned to my wife recently that I had "stepped over to the Monastery" during lunch at work.   She replied in a somewhat concerned tone, "you do know that it's not a real place, don't you?"

She's also been known to say, as if speaking to a small child, "Now tell your Monk friends good night, and come to bed."

   a wee bit biased,
    ybiC

[Russ]

Nomination:
• merlyn
  PHP - it's "Training wheels without the bike"

Russ
Brainbench 'Most Valuable Professional' for Perl

[ybiC]

The right honorable mdillon gave us a classic at RE: Learning Perl (RE: use strict):

"Blasphemer!

Learning Perl is infallible! (and version 3 will be even more infallible than the previous versions)"
    cheers,
    ybiC

[Ozymandias]

Another new nomination from the chatterbox...

<chromatic> Er, wait. Nevermind, nothing I say now is going to make that any less nonsense.

- email Ozymandias

[crazyinsomniac]

Hi,

While I would like to take credit for the quote, it's not mine. I didn't even say it. I visited some monk's(don't remember whose) page and it had a button, which apparently submitted that message to the chatterbox.

Another good quote is:

somemonk "fed chromatic a jellybean"

"cRaZy is co01, but sometimes cRaZy is cRaZy".
                                                      - crazyinsomniac

[Ozymandias]

The button is on neshura's home node. Go on, push it. You know you want to.
- email Ozymandias

[crazyinsomniac]

Hi,

Here's some more quotes,

"wuv me" -by- neshura (she's so cute)

"Shoeboy, Shoeboy, where are your shoes!?" -by- me.

"Adam trips vroom| with a pipe." -by- me

"/me| trips over a pipe, gets up and trips again." -by- me

 
"cRaZy is co01, but sometimes cRaZy is cRaZy".
                                                      - crazyinsomniac

[Ozymandias]

There can really be only one choice for the most notorious possible quote. And the best part is, it's been said by many monks, though never so well as the original from jcwren...

<jcwren> /msh ...

- email Ozymandias

[ybiC]

Which leads to my next nomination...

<jcwren> Argh!

    cheers,
    ybiC

[ybiC]

The quite terse Segfault, at Look familiar...?, gave us:

"There are some things scripts can't do...
For everything else, there's Perl."

    cheers,
    ybiC

[ybiC]

I don't recall the exact quote, but I believe it was merlyn in the Chatterbox who coined the phrase "Personal Drummer".   That is, a drummer who would follow you around to provide rimshots after corny jokes and bad puns. (g)
    cheers,
    ybiC

[merlyn]

If I recall, it's because someone was talking about "firing their drummer". Of course, they meant in the context of being part of a band, but my little comedy brain hiccupped and said "ahh, a personal drummer, that'd be cool", and started making up things a personal drummer would do.

-- Randal L. Schwartz, Perl hacker

[seuratt]

a note for posterity.. the comedian stephen wright should get some credit for the 'extra medium' bit. he's had a deadpan routine for years that has gone as such:

" I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, 'Have you got anything I'd like?' Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, 'Extra medium.'"

another of his:

"I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit."

more quotes

[ybiC]

A couple more for y'all's perusal, both from tilly:

"profitably displaced mathematician"    referring to his educational and professional background

"a human interface to Google"     referring to one of his many talents.

    cheers,
    ybiC

[mcwee]

At the risk of being vain, I'd like to nominate myself with the following utterance:

RE: RE: RE: Sexiest Woman? (really re: jcwren's dog)

Furthermore (and I'm not ranting, just clarifying) if I were as homely as that cur of yours, I'd shave my own ass and teach myself to walk backwards.

It's tied with another of my posts in the same node as my lowest-voted node ever!

The Autonomic Pilot; it's FunkyTown, babe.

[mcwee]

Oooch! The above node is catching up in the "lowest voted node for mcwee" race. I guess jcwren's dog has some powerful friends.

The Autonomic Pilot; it's FunkyTown, babe.

[Anonymous Monk]

This needs to be added too:
<merlyn> so all I know is I know less today about my fellow man than I knew yesterday. and it's an opportunity to get curious.

[Adam]

jcwren Oooh! A new node! 'Does your employer allow you to use your personal crack pipe?'