I'm afraid to these old ears, the very juxtaposition of "rap" and "star" constitutes an oxymoron.
He..ck! It's bad enough when your PM starts screaming at you when you goof...but to have him (or her) start rappin' at yer. saints (small s intended) preserve us.
Can you imagine all that hand flapping and finger pointing and....
- Now wa'chew doin' ya im-bi-cile
- Look here bro' you's gotta get real
- These for's n foreach's n crap wiv map
- Splice a slice! It twice as nice.
- What's wi'chew packin'? Dat ain't cool
- Den you gotta unpack, you fool.
- Oh! You used vec! Well ain't dat bitchin'
- And and's 'n' or's 'n' some bit twiddlin'
- So you tink you bad you stupid m..an
- But when you gone, then some poor other
- S'gonna take the heat for you bein' clever
- To clean the sh..ambles you leave behin'
- While you gone clean from t'scene o't'crime
- Dat poor sucker will be doin time.
- N' you don't take it upon your gumption
- To put your code in-to production
- Why you tryin' to usurp my function?
- You gotta know dat's my decision
- Cos you screw up: I get de-rision.
- Now look here Joe or what'sya name
- Do it again and you'll feel the pain
- Of collectin' your cards from the front office
- You gotta learn just who the boss is
- When I say jump you ask how high
- N'if I tell ya, you'll learn to fly.
- But you will respect my headroom
- Or else you'll die!
I think my response would be "Hey Guy! Nice try. Goodbye", and I'd walk out whistling ol'Blue Eye's "My Way" (though I preferred Johnny Rotton's version:^).
I'd sing it, but that would leave me liable to prosecution for criminal damage:)
Nah! You're thinking of Simon Templar, originally played (on UKTV) by Roger Moore and later by Ian Ogilvy
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