use BIO::Short;
use S‎crip‎t::Longhand::blahblah;

my $age = 0;
while($age < 2) {
  be_very_small();
  $age++;
}

while($age < 10) {
  play_football();
  ask_mum_and_dad_for_stuff();
  ignore_girls();
  $age++;
}

while($age < 16) {
  discover_girls();
  pass_exams();
  hate_school();
  $age++;
}

while($age < 19) {
  finish_high_school();
  discover_beer();
  $age++;
}

while($age < 23) {
  university();
  learn_to_code();
  drink_lots();
  have_hangovers();
  $age++;
}

while($age < 100) {
  love_perl();
  use_other_languages();
  drink_not_so_much();
  still_get_bad_hangovers();
  say_during_the_war_a_lot();
  look_disparagingly_at_the_kids_of_today();
  harrumph();
  $age++;
}
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