Is a valuable professional programmer required to just go along with everything the company throws at him
No, absolutely not!
I feel like I've reached a wall. ... Is this just a sign that I'm not cut out for the job, or that I'm perhaps too old to keep up (I'm 42)?
Another perspective to look at is from is: neither, it may very well have absolutely nothing to do with you - it could also be a sign of an unhealthy work environment that's making you feel this way.
All in all, I fear I'll lose my job.
To be a little extreme about it: Given what you've said about your current job, would that be so bad?
it seems that here in Italy all the coding jobs are like so
I don't know about the situation in Italy. If that really is the case, that would indeed be unfortunate. But I'd say start doing some research, see what's out there! And it's abolsutely ok to be confident in one's skills, and that they are worth something. Having worked with as many technologies as you named is definitely a selling point, as is enjoying what you do - I've been hearing a lot recently that a lot of people in the market "just studied programming because they heard they could earn a lot of money". You just have to find the people who recognize that having a passion for software is an advantage.
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