At the end of the quest, I would hate to face:

[jacques]

Sauron

 52/16%

Darth Vader

 19/6%

Lord Voldemort

 17/5%

Agent Smith

 44/14%

Bill Gates

 58/18%

Map in void context

 135/42%

325 total votes

[greenFox]

Bill Gates is clearly the most dangerous take a look at the competition...

• Sauron: defeated by the Middle Earth version of a geeky kid- a hungry halfling with hairy feet.
• Darth Vader: defeated by a geeky kid with light sword.
• Lord Voldemort: defeated by a geeky kid with a broom.
• Agent Smith: defeated by a geeky kid with a leather jacket.
• Map in void context: resolved in recent Perl versions, so defeated by a geeky kid this time with a computer.

Bill Gates on the other hand, *is* a geeky kid. :)

[McDarren]

• a dragon with an empty belly.

[nimdokk]

Remember the old adage:

If you're with a halfing and a dragon, remember, you don't have to outrun the dragon, you have to outrun the halfling.

[grinder]

I would hate to face the old man from Scene 24.

(And why isn't this on the poll, hmmmm?)

[jhourcle]

Oh, c'mon ... he went down easy.

Now, the Creature of Caerbannog, on the other hand -- he required the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, which most people don't tend to carry on them.

[marto]

A blue screen of death!

Martin

[gregor42]

The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Especially if I don't have a towel.

[tbone1]

Reality.

[Gavin]

The Node Reaper has reaped your node!!

[nimdokk]

A grue.

[Polonius]

<hollow voice>Plugh!</hollow voice>

[john_oshea]

Game Over. Please insert $currency to continue...

[Mago]

Hello Kitty !

[wolfger]

Any of the above, except Bill Gates. I'd love to have that confrontation. One way or another, Bill... You're going down!

[arkturuz]

Anything, any man, any machine, anybody but Bill! :-)

[QM]

* Bill Gates

You can't kill map in a void context, it has no explicit goal. Everything you do with map in void context is for the side effects, kind of like cloning yourself to get a heart transplant (and can you wait that long?).

Otherwise, I think the most dramatic is Sauron. How do you fight with an all-seeing eye that has no physical manifiestation? Sure, throw the hobbit^WGolem into the volcano, but what really happened there? If energy has a will, wouldn't it put itself back together again? (Which somehow reminds me of the "there's only one electron" idea -- how to distinguish one electron from another, or any quantum of energy from it's brethren?)

OK, back to Perl. What if the choices were Larry, TheDamian, MJD, Merlyn, Abigail-II, etc.? (Sorry, there's really too many to name even a portion of the superstars, so I'll just hit my top few.)

[Anonymous Monk]

Sure, throw the hobbit^WGolem into the volcano, but what really happened there? If energy has a will, wouldn't it put itself back together again?

If you read the books, and especially the Sillmarillion, you'll find the answer. The fine details are slightly debated (a lot of Tolkien's later writings weren't published until after his death), but here's a summary that will help things make more sense.

Basically, it takes power for the beings that are made of power (like the "Valar" (creators of the world), or the "Maiar" (servants of the world's creators), like Gandalf, Sauruman, Sauron, and the Balrog) to manifest themselves physically, work "magic", or to generally affect the physical world.

About 3,000 years before the start of the Lord of the Rings, Sauron forged most of his power into the One Ring; it magnified his power, and nearly won him the war for Middle Earth. The Elves and Men and Dwarves all banded together, and defeated Sauron, and he was almost completely destroyed; his power was scattered and weak. But the One Ring held his power intact, and so long as it existed, Sauron could not be completely destroyed.

Over the long centuries, he managed to grow in power again (in your words, he slowly "put himself back together again"), and once again became a threat to Middle Earth, even without the power of the Ring. Once he got his Ring back, he would regain all his former power; and take over the world. His victory was all but assured; his greatest fear was that one of the heros of the Middle Earth might try to use the power of the One Ring against him; though in the process it would corrupt the hero, he might succed in first unseating Sauron from his Dark Throne.

For that reason, Aragorn, the true King of Gondor, gathers an army of all that's left of Gondor, Rohan, the Elves, and the Dwarves, and leads them all on a suicide mission to storm the very gates of Mordor; just so that Sauron will concentrate on killing Aragorn and his army, not on on Frodo and Sam, as they silently tiptoe their way into Mordor.

Somehow, despite all odds, the hobbits managed to sneak into Mordor, climb Mount Doom, and destroy the One Ring under Sauron's very nose.

Since the One Ring was sustaining Sauron's existance, when it was destroyed, so was almost all his power. He faded away into a dark shadow, too weak to ever reform again. At the same time, in a nice dramatic climax, the magic spells that kept his armies intact fell apart, the walls of Mordor came crashing down, and everything created or sustained by the Rings of Power fell apart (including Lothlorian, where Galadriel lived, parts of Rivendell, and sections of the Havens ).

The few elves remaining in Middle Earth, having lost the magical paradises they helped build with the Three Rings, decide to finally leave Middle Earth, and go back and rejoin the Valar in the far West. Frodo goes with them; Sam stays to raise his family in the Shire.

Something else that's interesting: while the hobbits seem to get "lucky breaks" far too often, this may be part of their nature, and indeed, part of the reason why they were chosen. Gandalf hints that there are "other forces" at work, and that Frodo was "meant to find the Ring, and not by Sauron"; and subtle magic is very common in Middle Earth. For example, we learn in other books that Gandalf is an immortal just like Sauron, and his magics were based on understanding and knowledge; like knowledge of the future, even when it seems against all odds. As for the vast co-incidence of Gollum "falling" into Mount Doom, it's interesting to note that Frodo, influenced by the Ring into an unnaturally stern mood, once tells Gollum "may you be cast into the fire if you touch \ the Ring\ again". This may or may not be a death curse (it's debated); but if it was, it certainly worked. And yes, I *did* spend too many years reading rec.arts.books.tolkien as an undergrad! Why do you ask! :-)

[girarde]

You distinguish electrons by their position, or their state. Everybody knows that.

Bash em close enough together (high energy collision) and you don't know which one came out on which side, though.

[swampyankee]

Although there was, apparently, a (semi-serious?) theory that there was only 1 electron, which when traveling backwards in time became a positron.

I think there are a few theoretical physicists who need their medications sorted out. Conversely, most MBAs and all politicians need to get their meds sorted out.

[Polonius]

• Lord Foul
• A dalek
• Gary Larson's cow/dog/duck/bespectacled woman/...

[samizdat]

      * Bill Gates


Because I'd for sure commit my first capital crime... slowly.

[pajout]

You forgot Big Brother.

[swampyankee]

I'd worry less about Bill Gates himself than his security detachment. He can probably buy the US Delta Force, the British SAS, and the Mossad.

I'd have to remember to be both unthreatening and unsnarky; the latter tends to be difficult.

[DrHyde]

Dunno, but *they'd* hate to face *me*. Long quest without adequate pubs make DrHyde Angry. You not like DrHyde when he Angry. DRHYDE SMASH.

[Moron]

...a predictable, long-drawn-out or otherwise boring ending.

[vkon]

I want to meet 42, because this is well-known 6x9.

[spiritway]

Barney. I don't think I could take it if, sword dripping blood, armor tarnished, scored and dented, wounds still aching, I had to deal with a purple, happy dinosaur. I think something would just snap inside...

[NateTut]

Barney at Chuck E. Cheese's on a busy Winter evening. The decibel level is deafening. It takes true courage to venture there.

[TedPride]

Sauron totally owns all the other choices, even minus the One Ring.

[Anonymous Monk]

I'd hate to face No room at line xxx ... the memories... *shivers*

[Anonymous Monk]

nerds

[Mutant]

cmon, this site is called "Perl Monks" FFS!!!

If you expect to find legions of hot semi-naked supermodels posting here, you've come to the wrong site, matey.

[VSarkiss]

Now you tell me, after all these years of combing thru the homenode pics.

Oh wait, that was Porn Monks.

[spiritway]

If you expect to find legions of hot semi-naked supermodels posting here, you've come to the wrong site, matey.

You're kidding. You mean to tell me that I've been wasting my time here all these months? And what about [id://paco]? There was a lot of midriff showing in that home node picture, even though I agree paco wasn't exactly a supermodel.

[spiritway]

nerds

You say that like it was a bad thing...