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Meditation on the fate of Perl

by EvanCarroll (Chaplain)
on May 13, 2007 at 15:32 UTC ( [id://615177]=perlmeditation: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

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Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by liverpole (Monsignor) on May 13, 2007 at 16:12 UTC
    Evan, what do you get out of this exactly?  Is it that big a badge of honor to annoy and insult as many people here as you can?

    Sometimes I wonder if you have notes which you follow when you write this stuff, or if you've just got the key stratagems memorized.

    From the EvanCarroll book of tips for getting a node to top of the Worst Nodes List in record time:

    1.  Start out with a contemptuous, pejorative salutation
        "Dear fellow senile old fashioned monks,"
    
    2.  Call into question Perl's fate
        "I was recently pondering the future of Perl"
        "My first interpretation was that Perl was surely dead"
        "Perl really needs better armament if it is to withstand the needs of today's programmers"
        "a lack of ruby-like-agility"
    
    3.  Compare Perl unfavorably to other languages to quickly incur the wrath of others
        "in light of other newer, buzzier, and generally better languages"
    
    4.  Link to a gratuitous, irrelevant video of an animal getting killed to incite negative feelings
        "when I came upon this video"
    
    5.  Link to another of one's own successfully negative trolling posts
        "namely not using tabs"
    

    I must admit, though, that #4 was a new one, even for you.  Surely you'll be at the top of your desired list in the very near future.

    Good luck with those goals!


    s''(q.S:$/9=(T1';s;(..)(..);$..=substr+crypt($1,$2),2,3;eg;print$..$/

      heh heh, I upvoted the root node, that will foil his dastardly plan :)

      • another intruder with the mooring in the heart of the Perl

        I ++ this reply for the evil plan ;-)

        Open source softwares? Share and enjoy. Make profit from them if you can. Yet, share and enjoy!

        If you check the worst nodes thingy before go vote yo ucan see if you need to vote up or down to keep the node at -10 ;)
      Good luck with those goals!

      You know, the problem with our Junior Oracle is that he is not prolific enough. For one-shots like this one, the relatively new acquisition of the monastery seems to be more effective. (Although the yearly chart would disprove my claim - it's just a gut feeling, anyway.) In any case quantity may win over quality: as the holder of an entry rating relatively high (high) in the infamous lists myself, I must say that I was impressed seeing my name there, but my eyes literally glazed when seeing at some point the whole of the Worst Nodes of The Week hit taken entirely by a single user as follows - this is perseverance, monks:

Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by shmem (Chancellor) on May 13, 2007 at 20:31 UTC
    Dear self-acclaimed Seventh Oracle of Delphi,

    the drugs you're on are surely not what the Pythia had. Please get better stuff which might provide you with real visions instead of video-inspired delirations.

    Do your homework and learn about the Moirae prior to extemporizing about a programming language's fate: there's no such thing, since a programming language isn't an individual. Mixing in a poor camel run over by a train doesn't help. Your saw is poor.

    Really, I expected more after your Tab War Tale and Corporate perl. Perhaps a good Emacs vs. vi rant would do?

    --shmem

    _($_=" "x(1<<5)."?\n".q·/)Oo.  G°\        /
                                  /\_¯/(q    /
    ----------------------------  \__(m.====·.(_("always off the crowd"))."·
    ");sub _{s./.($e="'Itrs `mnsgdq Gdbj O`qkdq")=~y/"-y/#-z/;$e.e && print}
Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by hardburn (Abbot) on May 14, 2007 at 04:30 UTC

    Dear fellow senile old fashioned monks

    You kids are cute with your little multi-line editors. Now get off my lawn.


    "There is no shame in being self-taught, only in not trying to learn in the first place." -- Atrus, Myst: The Book of D'ni.

Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by gloryhack (Deacon) on May 16, 2007 at 06:48 UTC
    Hadn't you heard? Perl died more than 70 years ago in a freak accident. Someone spilled a gelatin dessert on a polished marble floor, and, well, the rest of the story is all camel guts and irritated janitorial staff, with some camel shrieking mixed in to ensure that no one who was there will ever forget it. Most of the witnesses to that horrid event had trouble with windy days for many years afterward due to the shrieking sound of the wind whistling in drain pipes, screen doors, and the like.

    Those of us who write the stuff every day, well, we're just ghosts. We aren't really here at all. You're just like that kid who sees dead people in that insipid Bruce Willis movie, and we're all Bruce Willis... well, kinda. We're far more charming and most of us are better looking. You'd be better off learning not to see us than hanging around here feeling sorry for us just because we're too dumb to know we're dead.

    Have a happy day, and be careful not to get dead like us. It's not that being dead is frightening or painful or anything, but when you're intangible you can't have black jelly beans and Jack Daniel's for breakfast any more, and by golly THAT SUCKS!

Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by zentara (Archbishop) on May 14, 2007 at 14:36 UTC
    ....this video....

    Was that a train hitting a camel or a camel hitting a train? From my perspective it looked liked the camel survived the collision, circled around and went back for more. It looks like it's the way camels entertain themselves..... who can come closet to the train and and freak out the engineer.

    I thinks it bodes well for Perl....it's indestructible. :-)


    I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. Cogito ergo sum a bum
Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by blazar (Canon) on May 14, 2007 at 11:54 UTC

    I've long resisted the urge to reply but...

    With that said Perl really needs better armament if it is to withstand the needs of today's programmers.

    Name calling apart... agreable, after all! But then...

    What this really boils down to is a lack of ruby-like-agility on some Perl programmers, namely not using tabs.

    Haha! No, seriously: Haha! Perhaps you should seriously consider the possibility of investigating Whitespace. Seems better suited than Perl to withstand the needs of today's programmers.

Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by Moriarty (Abbot) on May 17, 2007 at 02:19 UTC

    I was in two minds as to whether this node was worthy of approval, but, after reading the responses, I decided that, while the original node may not be worthy of approval, the responses definitely were.

    Thanks all for an entertaining read. :)

Re: Meditation on the fate of Perl
by wulvrine (Friar) on May 14, 2007 at 15:23 UTC
    ++! I'm definitely down with evil plans!

    s&&VALKYRIE &&& print $_^q|!4 =+;' *|

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